SUN 23 APR 2000

WEEKLY WHINE

Sixteen good stock ideas

You may have noticed that stocks have been acting strangely lately. Even the Nasdaq composite index, which has been so good at going up the past few years, changed its mind this month. All sorts of stocks have been tumbling lately, particularly Microsoft. NASDAQ:MSFT leveled off back in January and contributed to the fall in the Dow Jones Industrial Average at that time. It rallied again last month, but then its case against the Department of Justice turned out against it, and other stocks have also begun underperforming at the same time.

So what is an investor to do? Put money into stocks? Take money out of stocks? Leave it where it is? Our expert analysts here at GoobNet have assembled the following tips, which are sure to either make you lots of money or make you say "I don't get it". Which will it be?

	Don't buy something that doesn't taste good
	Web brokerage profits might be at risk - or they might not
	Invest in the lowest stocks you can find - they've got nowhere to go but up
	Commodities are useful, like artichoke hearts
	Spatializer Audio Labs [OTCBB:SPAZ] might "sound" good
	In the mood for a Final Public Offering?
	How's portHOLE[tm] by GoobNet [Nasdaq:PTHL] looking?
	IPOs of the past: Red Hat [Nasdaq:RHAT]
	Get in on GE [NYSE:GE], Time Warner [NYSE:TWX], and everybody else who owns a major financial news channel
	Precious metals are hot, like dulled bronze
	The market will settle down now that taxes are done - right?
	How's Iridium [Nasdaq:IRIDQ] looking?
	If the Nasdaq composite stays above 3,200, you're fine; otherwise, time to panic!
	If the DJIA stays above 3,200, ... well...
	IPO of the month: Frizappy.com
	Just get a job working for Alan Greenspan!